It was U2. Of course it was freakin’ awesome!
Although, I’m not sure what to say about the giant caterpillar that was crouching over the stage. It was even green with little yellow spots on it. A little bit of Alice in Wonderland? It even lit up at certain points during the show, in different colors. Which was kind of neat. Maybe it looked even better (or perhaps more frightening) if you were on mood-enhancers (which I wasn’t, so I’ll never know).
Bono has got my props though, for lasting 2+ hours through B-more heat in humidity in all black and a jacket (although there may have been fans aimed at the stage, and I mean the electric kind, there were still all those lights and a fog machine constantly going). And what with all the hopping around… He does dance like a white boy though. Which is okay, because he is one. I will now admit to a new respect for “Sexy Boots” and a nice drumming part for “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight.” It was interesting to note that, while there was a bongo being played at the beginning of the song, it kept playing when the drummer switched to the drum kit (and vice versa). Hmmm. Still, the drums were amazing on the song, even if they weren’t “real.”
I also enjoyed the lights (it goes without saying that the sound kicked butt. So we’ll skip that for the most part, except to note that there was feedback on one song. But for 5 hours of music, we’ll let it pass. It was one particular note that didn’t seem to like the stadium. Every time it was hit – feedback. Ah, live sound). Anyway, lights. So, the stage looked like two caterpillars standing next to each other on their tiptoes, with a stick in between them, with a disco-ball cherry on top of the stick. And on each of the four caterpillar legs were at least four manned spotlights that guys had to climb up and rappel down to get to. It was so neat to watch (even though, once up, they pretty much stayed there the whole show). There was another vertical truss behind us, one the ground level, which held another spotlight that was manned during the show, with another on the other side of the sound booth in the back as well. I didn’t see anyone in that one though. They were up high! And the lights were plenty, but not overdone. They were simplistic, but elusively so; the kind of simple that you know costs money to achieve. At one point the disco ball on the stick was rotating, and there was another one lower down rotating in an opposite direction, and it made an effect that looked almost like someone was blowing beautiful bubbles around the stadium.
Yeah, it was a good night.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Things people write that I have to read
Okay, so apparently it doesn’t take very much skill in the written word to obtain and maintain a job in the “real world.” Here’s some proof of things that I’ve actually had to read (and respond to) at work:
“Dear ____, Please be advised of my intention to request a hearing regarding the $10,000 penalty assessed in the above captioned case. I respectively request reconsideration of the assed penalty based briefly on the following facts…” (no, there are no typos in that)
And a Work Plan that was submitted for review, proposing the following, “Borings would be advanced to below the water table, with all soil samples being field screened for the presence of VOCs. Any elevated field readings would be sampled and sent to the laboratory for analysis for VOCs and fuel oxygenates. Temporary piezometers (wells) would be installed in the boring locations, and groundwater samples obtained and analyzed for the same parameters.”
So, could you be any more vague about this? How many borings? Where? What parameters are you analyzing for, and by what method?
Recently, I received a groundwater sampling report. Now, I like my commas, but this was a little much. “Historic groundwater analytical data is, also, summarized on the attached Table. A copy of the complete laboratory report is, also, attached.” Hmm, thanks.
Finally, I once attended a meeting, where we were handed a meeting agenda. Last on the agenda (I really, really am not making this up, because honestly, I had to read it six times to figure it out), “Dynamic vs. Static Work Plans: Maximize the Reduction of Uncertainty.”
Thanks to all those out there for providing me countless hours of entertaining reading.
“Dear ____, Please be advised of my intention to request a hearing regarding the $10,000 penalty assessed in the above captioned case. I respectively request reconsideration of the assed penalty based briefly on the following facts…” (no, there are no typos in that)
And a Work Plan that was submitted for review, proposing the following, “Borings would be advanced to below the water table, with all soil samples being field screened for the presence of VOCs. Any elevated field readings would be sampled and sent to the laboratory for analysis for VOCs and fuel oxygenates. Temporary piezometers (wells) would be installed in the boring locations, and groundwater samples obtained and analyzed for the same parameters.”
So, could you be any more vague about this? How many borings? Where? What parameters are you analyzing for, and by what method?
Recently, I received a groundwater sampling report. Now, I like my commas, but this was a little much. “Historic groundwater analytical data is, also, summarized on the attached Table. A copy of the complete laboratory report is, also, attached.” Hmm, thanks.
Finally, I once attended a meeting, where we were handed a meeting agenda. Last on the agenda (I really, really am not making this up, because honestly, I had to read it six times to figure it out), “Dynamic vs. Static Work Plans: Maximize the Reduction of Uncertainty.”
Thanks to all those out there for providing me countless hours of entertaining reading.
Friday, December 17, 2010
My dog has nicer manners than your honors student
So it’s probably not news that my dog thinks he’s my second child. If my daughter is in my lap, he wants to be in my lap too. And both of them just barely fit. Especially when the cat joins in. I mean, Mommy’s lap is only so big, and that side of the couch can only hold so much weight. Really, is there something wrong with the other side of the couch? And let’s not talk about when I go to use the restroom… Sometimes I go to work just to be alone. It’s nice. And quiet.
But anyway. I feed the dog twice a day, once in the morning, and once at night. And apparently, he can’t eat if no one else is eating. I don’t eat breakfast at home in the morning (no time), but my daughter does. And he will wait until she’s eating breakfast to start eating. If she’s not there in the morning, he will leave the bowl full of food until I get home and have a snack before dinner to eat it. When I fill the bowl at dinner time, he waits until we are eating dinner at the table to eat. If he’s outside, he somehow knows when we are eating, and barks to come in. I used to think he could hear the timer on the microwave or the oven, and would use that “bell” to come in (my daughter wants his middle name to be ‘lunchbox’ and I want it to be ‘Pavlov.’ Seeing as he’s my dog, you would think I would win this argument, but my husband is on her side). But some nights I don’t use any timers, and he still knows when to come in and “eat” with us.
Of course, there's his disgusting habit of letting me know when he's eaten - he comes over to me, wherever I am, and burps at me (his bowl is in the kitchen, and we eat in the dining room). Then he rolls around on the floor on his back to help the food digest, or something. Yup, who would want to miss that twice a day, every day?
But anyway. I feed the dog twice a day, once in the morning, and once at night. And apparently, he can’t eat if no one else is eating. I don’t eat breakfast at home in the morning (no time), but my daughter does. And he will wait until she’s eating breakfast to start eating. If she’s not there in the morning, he will leave the bowl full of food until I get home and have a snack before dinner to eat it. When I fill the bowl at dinner time, he waits until we are eating dinner at the table to eat. If he’s outside, he somehow knows when we are eating, and barks to come in. I used to think he could hear the timer on the microwave or the oven, and would use that “bell” to come in (my daughter wants his middle name to be ‘lunchbox’ and I want it to be ‘Pavlov.’ Seeing as he’s my dog, you would think I would win this argument, but my husband is on her side). But some nights I don’t use any timers, and he still knows when to come in and “eat” with us.
Of course, there's his disgusting habit of letting me know when he's eaten - he comes over to me, wherever I am, and burps at me (his bowl is in the kitchen, and we eat in the dining room). Then he rolls around on the floor on his back to help the food digest, or something. Yup, who would want to miss that twice a day, every day?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Slogans and Such
Living in PA and working in MD, I do a lot of driving. Which means I see a lot of “Keep our state beautiful” signs (MD and PA both use these signs, although Marylanders appear to be more proud of their state’s natural resources in most places, if you were to judge by the sides of the highways). Recently I was on a trip to Washington, the Evergreen State. Now, if my license plate can’t read “Live Free or Die” I think “The Evergreen State” isn’t a bad second choice. However, I think they’ve got the best ‘don’t litter’ sign campaign I’ve ever seen. Everywhere you go, there are signs that read, “If you litter, IT WILL HURT.” Now, while that is probably referring to the devastation of the natural resources, it conjures up pictures of an angry NFL-type bouncer following people around to make sure that they don’t litter, and if they do, punching them to ensure that they don’t ever, ever do it again. Sometimes it’s great to work in government.
In my life, I have also managed to come up with a few lines of my own which I think would make great t-shirts. I think they would be marketable.
“I’m not fat, I’m Italian”
This is particularly applicable to one side of my family, where my relatives are known for feeding people. One Thanksgiving in particular, whenever one type of food would run out (whipped cream, meatballs, cheese topping for the pasta….) my grandmother could be quoted as saying, “Don’t worry, I’ve got more.”
“If you hit on me, I will hit back”
I imagine this would appeal more to the feminine side of the population, but perhaps more ironic males would wear it. Last month, I was walking into a retail store, and carrying the trash bag from my vehicle so I could throw it out. A male, about my age, was walking in the opposite direction. I was concentrating on what I was doing, thinking about work, minding my own business. The male looks at me and says, “You dropped something back there,” pointing behind me. Thinking some trash had fallen out of my bag, and not wanting to litter, I looked back, concerned. “I did?” I said. “Your smile,” he says cheesily, and then smiles at me, also cheesily, and expectantly. My mind went completely blank for a second. Then I thought several things: Is he trying to hit on me? Creepy! Did he really just say that?! What kind of response do you give that? Astutely, I said, “Oh.” And proceeded to stand there stupidly for a minute before continuing on my way. Now, if I had been wearing the above shirt, I feel that I may have been justified in hitting him (although not, perhaps, during work hours). Not that I am necessarily a fan of violence, but if men are warned off beforehand, they should know to keep their mouths shut. And if they are warned and don’t, then they deserve what’s coming, because, hey, they were warned.
In my life, I have also managed to come up with a few lines of my own which I think would make great t-shirts. I think they would be marketable.
“I’m not fat, I’m Italian”
This is particularly applicable to one side of my family, where my relatives are known for feeding people. One Thanksgiving in particular, whenever one type of food would run out (whipped cream, meatballs, cheese topping for the pasta….) my grandmother could be quoted as saying, “Don’t worry, I’ve got more.”
“If you hit on me, I will hit back”
I imagine this would appeal more to the feminine side of the population, but perhaps more ironic males would wear it. Last month, I was walking into a retail store, and carrying the trash bag from my vehicle so I could throw it out. A male, about my age, was walking in the opposite direction. I was concentrating on what I was doing, thinking about work, minding my own business. The male looks at me and says, “You dropped something back there,” pointing behind me. Thinking some trash had fallen out of my bag, and not wanting to litter, I looked back, concerned. “I did?” I said. “Your smile,” he says cheesily, and then smiles at me, also cheesily, and expectantly. My mind went completely blank for a second. Then I thought several things: Is he trying to hit on me? Creepy! Did he really just say that?! What kind of response do you give that? Astutely, I said, “Oh.” And proceeded to stand there stupidly for a minute before continuing on my way. Now, if I had been wearing the above shirt, I feel that I may have been justified in hitting him (although not, perhaps, during work hours). Not that I am necessarily a fan of violence, but if men are warned off beforehand, they should know to keep their mouths shut. And if they are warned and don’t, then they deserve what’s coming, because, hey, they were warned.
Friday, July 9, 2010
In Which I Decide I Would Like A Career In Advertising
Dear Sir Or Madam:
I would like to apply for the position of Advertising Associate I saw advertised on Craigslist. Although for the past five years I have been working in the Environmental field, organizing and maintaining approximately one hundred petroleum remediation cases and ensuring compliance with regulatory statutes, I feel that I could make a worthwhile contribution to the field of advertising, particularly to your company. I am also a graduate of College with a Master of Science in Biology and a minor in Psychology. Throughout the past several years I have seen many of the advertising promotions produced by your firm, and I feel that even in a drunken state I could have created better campaigns. In fact, the seven goats in my back yards could probably have done better with a fire and smoke signals.
In my current position, I have assisted my company in reviewing and revitalizing cases over twenty years old, setting them on a tracking system, analyzing large amounts sampling data for these historical cases, and making decisions on future remedial actions, all while keeping public health and the environment in mind. Meanwhile, I have noticed that two of your clients, (shall we call them Wally World, and a really, really large gasoline chain), have had extensive advertising campaigns, both of which involved convincing the world that they are not evil, and that, instead, they are out to do the world good. As far as I’m concerned, if a company has to continually strive to convince the public that they are not evil, or out to harm the environment, then something is seriously wrong with their public image and probably how they conduct business.
I was, however, very intrigued by the advertising slogan put forth from a local oil company (I knew your company was involved when I heard the tagline at the end of the radio advertisement), touting oil as the one true “clean energy.” Clean as compared to what? Coming from a position in which I have seen that a long-term small heating oil leak can cause long-term damage which may take years to remediate, and even contamination to supply wells, I find this hard to believe. And compared to a heat pump, propane, or even wood heat, I am at a loss to see what is ‘cleaner’ about oil. Do they mean cleaner than coal? Because that’s about all I can come up with.
I did enjoy the advertising wit of the local crab dealer (kudos to your office for this one, which I’m assuming somebody who’s on some nice meds came up with. Either that or a really lonely person), “Nice males, 3 for $99.” If only it were that easy.
While amused at the slogan of a doctor’s office I was at for work, I also found it troubling: “You’re real sick. We’re real doctors.” Is that supposed to be funny? Or scary? And I’m letting these people take my blood?
I am very interested in becoming part of your company, as I feel that it will require minimal work on my part for maximum results on your part, as long as the public is willing to be convinced. Apparently, as long as pretty people and pictures are involved, they are. I believe that my ability to analyze, multi-task with minimal supervision, while maintaining a high degree of accuracy, organization, and efficiency in my work, would benefit your company. I may be reached at the address and phone number provided. I look forward to hearing from you.
I would like to apply for the position of Advertising Associate I saw advertised on Craigslist. Although for the past five years I have been working in the Environmental field, organizing and maintaining approximately one hundred petroleum remediation cases and ensuring compliance with regulatory statutes, I feel that I could make a worthwhile contribution to the field of advertising, particularly to your company. I am also a graduate of College with a Master of Science in Biology and a minor in Psychology. Throughout the past several years I have seen many of the advertising promotions produced by your firm, and I feel that even in a drunken state I could have created better campaigns. In fact, the seven goats in my back yards could probably have done better with a fire and smoke signals.
In my current position, I have assisted my company in reviewing and revitalizing cases over twenty years old, setting them on a tracking system, analyzing large amounts sampling data for these historical cases, and making decisions on future remedial actions, all while keeping public health and the environment in mind. Meanwhile, I have noticed that two of your clients, (shall we call them Wally World, and a really, really large gasoline chain), have had extensive advertising campaigns, both of which involved convincing the world that they are not evil, and that, instead, they are out to do the world good. As far as I’m concerned, if a company has to continually strive to convince the public that they are not evil, or out to harm the environment, then something is seriously wrong with their public image and probably how they conduct business.
I was, however, very intrigued by the advertising slogan put forth from a local oil company (I knew your company was involved when I heard the tagline at the end of the radio advertisement), touting oil as the one true “clean energy.” Clean as compared to what? Coming from a position in which I have seen that a long-term small heating oil leak can cause long-term damage which may take years to remediate, and even contamination to supply wells, I find this hard to believe. And compared to a heat pump, propane, or even wood heat, I am at a loss to see what is ‘cleaner’ about oil. Do they mean cleaner than coal? Because that’s about all I can come up with.
I did enjoy the advertising wit of the local crab dealer (kudos to your office for this one, which I’m assuming somebody who’s on some nice meds came up with. Either that or a really lonely person), “Nice males, 3 for $99.” If only it were that easy.
While amused at the slogan of a doctor’s office I was at for work, I also found it troubling: “You’re real sick. We’re real doctors.” Is that supposed to be funny? Or scary? And I’m letting these people take my blood?
I am very interested in becoming part of your company, as I feel that it will require minimal work on my part for maximum results on your part, as long as the public is willing to be convinced. Apparently, as long as pretty people and pictures are involved, they are. I believe that my ability to analyze, multi-task with minimal supervision, while maintaining a high degree of accuracy, organization, and efficiency in my work, would benefit your company. I may be reached at the address and phone number provided. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
A six-year weekend project
So my daughter is six, and a few times a year I will sew outfits for her (usually a Christmas dress and an Easter dress, pajamas, etc.). Over the years I've saved the material from those outfits, and some of the clothing she couldn't bear to let go, as well as from projects that we've done together. One year for Christmas we made people fleece blankets. We've made some latch-hook pillows. So, Last year I bought a book, "Easy Weekend Quilted Projects" or something (I know "easy" and "weekend" were definitely in the title) so I could make a quilt for her bed. Now, a year and a half later, I've finished it. As a side note, Chickie did also help me cut out some of the pieces for the quilt at the beginning, and do some of the pinning during the sewing. I think it turned out pretty well. But it will be a long time before I make another quilt again.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Life Without Cable
Living in the middle of nowhere, I don’t even think we can get cable. And satellite is expensive, so we don’t have that either. Or internet. Or even a landline phone. And we have to make cell phone calls pretty much on the front porch. Or standing on one leg in the kitchen, leaning as far into the windows as possible (what? WHAT?!). Yup, but we’ve got goats, and deer and foxes. And about six channels on our rabbit ears. There’s the two news channels (one for MD and one for PA), neither of them worth watching once they get past the weather report (sorry, I’m not much for listening to people whine about stuff. I spend enough time at work doing that). And then the weather-all-the-time channel (and not the real weather channel either. That would be too exciting). And then the two Christian-let’s-convert-you channels. And then, there’s THIS network. The channel that plays the movies with famous people in them before they were famous. Here’s a little sampling:
1. William Shatner and Patty Duke in the The Babysitter: Shatner was the father of a young, lonely girl. I’m still not sure if it was a horror-movie wannabe, or just creepy. (1980)
2. Charlton Heston in Call of the Wild: Actually, I think I saw this when I was younger (don’t think less of me, I had a Jack London thing).
3. Sean Connery in Cuba: He was so young, I only recognized him because of his voice. Although this one was actually kind of good. (1979)
4. Richard Gere in Breathless: Kind of like Grease meats the Outsiders without the catchy music. (1983)
1. William Shatner and Patty Duke in the The Babysitter: Shatner was the father of a young, lonely girl. I’m still not sure if it was a horror-movie wannabe, or just creepy. (1980)
2. Charlton Heston in Call of the Wild: Actually, I think I saw this when I was younger (don’t think less of me, I had a Jack London thing).
3. Sean Connery in Cuba: He was so young, I only recognized him because of his voice. Although this one was actually kind of good. (1979)
4. Richard Gere in Breathless: Kind of like Grease meats the Outsiders without the catchy music. (1983)
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